If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
Are you a daycare center? Because I want to put kids in you!
If I were a planet I’d want to be Neptune so I can be right behind Uranus.
Touch your toes and I will show you where the rocket goes!
I can’t buy you Gucci or Armani but I can make your p*ssy a tsunami.
Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis.
Excuse me, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?
Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!
I named my d*ck “the truth” cause b*tches can’t handle it!
If you were a squirrel, would you help me bust a nut?
Damn girl, are you a pinata? Cause I’m gonna need a blindfold before I hit that.
Are you a pirate? Cause I’ve got a lot of semen waiting for you!
Do you like pies? I make very good cream pies.
Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus.